Parallel Algorithm for Quick Sort!

It's been a while since I last logged on to Blogger. Over the last few days, I have tried to justify this temporary sabbatical attributing all possible reasons ranging from global warming to crude oil prices, but after extruding these set of reasons through a truth-funnel, the same age old problem emerged as the primary reason - my struggle with blogging topics! This time, it was a problem of plenty. I was confused with tons of topics to blog on - Tata Nano, about my latest challenging drive to highest peak at Cameron Highlands, aircraft technology and the airline industry, IPL business model, Sachin's statistical comparison with other greats, da da da...

I then did the mistake of again asking Ninja for a topic to blog on - and this is what Ninja the geek came up with. So, I thought, well why not? After all this blog was started to enlighten the world! :-)

At first glance, the topic looked fairly okay - "Parallel Algorithm For Quick Sort". Within first few minutes, I realised that I had understood all 5 words listed within the quotes - so should be a no brainer! Little did I know that the phrase that once appeared is one of my finance books would hold true here as well - "the whole is greater than the sum of parts"

Since then, I have spent the last 3 hours trying to figure out what this topic could mean before getting down to blog on it. These are the possible interpretations that I could come up with:

1. At all points, it is equi-distant from algorithm for quick sort
2. Logical sequence of steps (algorithm), parallel to each other, quick to compute in some ways (sorta)
3. Parallel algorithm that fast bowlers in cricket (quicks) could use to sort opposition batting order
4. You type in 4 words in excel - "parallel", "algorithm", "for", "quick" and then use data sort function
5. Parallel algorithm to kick start a scooter?
6. On par with allege rhythm for quick sort?
7. Pyare Lal agle road pe quick sutta!

... yesss... I think, I cracked it! :-)

Mr. Blog Moderator steps in!

Mr. Blog Moderator is forced to step-in to maintain the reputation and standards that this blog is supposed to live-up to. Recent trends indicate an alarming fact - “zuk new posts in the last one month” – even in the most liberal blogging world, this would have been completely unacceptable. It's time to pull-up the strings, fasten loose bolts and power this blog back to the expressway!

Mr. Blogger's (author is not for blogs!) lack of self-discipline in maintaining this blog, has forced Mr. Blog Moderator to clearly articulate 'The-Blog-Protocol' moving forward. Furthermore, Mr. Blogger is severely reprimanded for not updating this blog in the recent past and three not-to-be-compromised-at-any-stage rules are hereby enforced to get some discipline going:

Rule #1: Thou shall regularly update this blog.

Rule #2: Thou shall maintain post discipline - focus only on the topic on hand, not the entire world surrounding it!

Rule #3: Thou shall compose shorter posts - no more long-posts-that-go-on-and-on-and-on for eternity!

By order,
Blog Moderator

Musical preferences and peer pressure!

While I was living a bit of a flash back last weekend, a very strange realization struck me, leaving me perplexed and with much to think about. – I found that my music preferences have changed quite a bit over the last few months. I tried to extend this flash back to as further back as I could to help me better understand this strange phenomenon. I found that, unlike most other things, my musical preferences have varied a lot over time. I gave it a bit more of thought, but I couldn’t get my head around how and why musical preferences have changed as much as they really have. Further introspection made me realize that this has by far not been a gradual natural shift over years, but instead a highly fluctuating trend largely driven by my external factors!

To put things in context, let me show an illustrative graph of how my musical preferences have evolved over time. (graph above)

With a very theoretical approach to problem solving, I tried to break this issue up into number of small time intervals to derive some sort of trend that could explain this huge fluctuation in preferences. This is how my musical taste had changed over years:

Early and mid 90s: Rehman’s brilliance and Baba Sehgal’s rap music essentially got the first change to my music taste

Late 90s: Much of it was driven by MTV, Channel V and 2 hour a week, 7pm-9pm countdown of western numbers on Chennai’s 107.1 FM

… moving to the more interesting phase of changes…

August 1999 onwards started my vidya vihar campus life. My walkman helped me survive through the initial ragging days on campus. That was not to last long as my walkman was subsequently “borrowed” by a senior (I still distinctly remember the senior who took my walkman away!). Anyways, immediately after the first one month of ragging as winter began to set in, I found my way to Nutan market and bought 2 local rustic speakers with a matching amplifier to help me graduate from walkman head-phones to something more bass-producing.

Our wing had started to gel together, 11 of us from 8 different states talking different languages. So was the music, a bit of Assamese music mixed with Gult and Tamil numbers from other half of the wing. Then there was rock and I had my pop music! I was then so against rock music that I had only one expression to describe rock music – noisy nonsensical stuff for drug-addicts!

Music to me was then pop – I would listen to boyzone and backstreet boys and likes. I called MLTR as rock (by the way, MLTR has and will remain my favorite). As our wing slowly became a wing from a group of 11 different individuals, we became a bit more vocal about our opinions. Soon, I started hearing comments like “THIS guy only listens to dhhop dhoop ding ding pop music” … while I put up a brave face to all the comments with a not-so-convincing reply that went like “so wat, my music, my preference!”. By the end of first year, my wing’s perseverant criticism has succeed in creating one significant change – I had internally started to feel the pinch of not knowing what rock was all about.


Year-2 (2000), I got my comp. to campus – while the intention was to learn some Java and C, the comp. processor spent most of it’s time processing music files and “movies” J.

I copied tons of music files to my hard disk – I now had a vast collection of music including rock. Somehow, I couldn’t get myself to listen to heavy metal. But this was to change soon – a change driven by my wing as they would all barge in and change the music to rock. When I resisted the change to rock, I would get a lecture from my wing and a long explanation to how my pop music sucked big time! Slowly, I started to appreciate rock, what sounded like noise not too long ago, had started to sound like music now – there was energy in bass and metal sound that I started to appreciate, there was madness in head-banging that I had started getting addicted to, etc, etc

Overall, the shift to rock was very much driven by my wing and access to MP3 songs. While it was to become my preferred music over the next few years, the dramatic shift was nothing more than pure peer pressure that raised an internal voice – “me too please…!”

I continued with ‘primarily rock’ music for most of my 2 years at WIMWI as well with no major changes. I played roughly the same play-list over and over again. Unfortunately, this in some ways implied that I had cut myself from following the latest top-chart music. My only exposure to new music during this entire phase was at ramp parties that I was anyways not too regular to.

Once I shifted to Singapore, we got a music system for our home and another amplifier for my room – I continued with my “rock only” music for most of my first year here. My flat-mates and other close friends would often play some nice Hindi-remixes and I gradually started to enjoy non-rock music all over again. No drastic measures as yet, I was happy with the mix of music and the odd addition of Hindi pop was always welcome.

2007, a different beat!

I am not a great believer of making new-year resolutions, but I sorta intended to bring about some change to my musical taste in 2007. It started off with when I got a few Hindi CDs during one of my customary Landmark visits in Chennai towards the end of 2006.

The next quantum leap was in April 2007 after I got my Avante. My first week drive of Avante was with heavy “side-rear-view mirror vibrating” rock music. While I enjoyed the blast of music, my friends didn’t exactly think too high of my music taste. I noticed the gradual resistance building up and I could visualize my music collection being vetoed against – this did hit me! I was now under pressure once again, to bring about a change and become socially more acceptable!

It was on one of those “destination-less” drives in Singapore, by some strange configuration of lack of other time-pass activities, we shifted to playing Antakshri. I had like not played Antakshri for years and it was nearly a life-changing experience for me if I was to stretch my imagination a bit. Firstly, it was back to Hindi music and alarmingly, I could only recall only very old Hindi songs! – the ones that a generation elder to us would classify as old! I was labeled as “1950s songs expert”! While that ended as a joke we had a good laugh about, it somehow made me ask myself some very philosophical and open ended questions “why have I completely shut myself from Hindi songs, Hindi pop, Western pop?” That of course had just one answer as I immediately went to the music store and began the process to gradually upgrade my music collection.

This was a turning point for sure. I still do enjoy rock as much as I once did, but I have started to get back to other forms of music that I once used to relish. It has been a strange rediscovery – certain songs have certain events and time stamps associated with them. e.g. Hindi pop (esp. Baba Sehgal) takes me back to my younger days, MLTR (like Someday Somewhere) takes me back to 30 minutes before a test, Bryan Adams’ “18 till I die” and Roxette take me back to my 12th standard days, Roja to very vague memories, etc, etc

This change in 2007 has again been driven by friends and so called peer pressure. I have little clue about how this trend would shape up in the years to come. However, if there is one thing I do know and I can be sure about, is that, I will continue to enjoy my music collection – the form, language, intensity would continue to fluctuate, but hopefully not the underlying passion!

Repercussions of a desperate hunt for blogging topics!

I have said it before and I say it again - the biggest roadblock to my otherwise promising blogging career is my complete lack of ability to think of nice blogging topics. Once a topic is 'assigned' to me, I can sorta find my way through the post.

If I had a database with minute-by-minute data of how I have spent my free-time in the recent past, blogging would appear right up there on top. That however does not mean that I spend a lot of time next to my laptop typing out posts. Let's look at this rather interesting phenomenon in greater detail which has left me perplexed! Some estimated data to help us understand this strange situation (all figures estimated as a percentage of total blogging time)

Reading other blogs : 5%
Typing out posts : 15%
Reading my own blog : 5%
Thinking of blogging topics : 75%!!

Further breakdown of 'thinking of blogging topics' (total 75%) reveals:

Staring at the wall : 25%
Over lunch/ dinner : 20%
During office meetings :15%
While waiting at traffic signal : 5%
Commercial break between overs of a cricket match : 5%
Looking for topics on orkut : 5%

The above data gives some indication to the gravity of the current problem. To sum it all up, this never-ending search for good blogging topics has taken a high share of my precious free time away! There has to be a solution to this... in my quest to answer the biggest puzzle of my life, I thought "what are friends for?", let me ask for some help. So, I pinged Ninja on gtalk and asked her for "good blogging topics, please" - little did I know that I this was a sure shot formula leading to nothing but disaster. After much pleading, got a response "go blog on fashion!"... my immediate reaction was "waaaaat, no way"... so I stopped chatting and got back to my staring-at-the-wall-for-topics state. Spent hours thinking, didn't get another topic of interest. So, thought - "lemme write something on fashion offline and if it shapes up well, will post it on the blog"

So, I started typing... "ehh...fashion... is amazing... is good... defines attitude"

... didn't sound that good, realized I knew very little about fashion to blog. The only way out now was to act brave and write a post with a few strong statements!

"...to me, fashion means absolutely nothing... while television channels would hate this blog from now on, I think fashion has exploited viewers of their time and money... I was shocked to see fashion tv on the list of pay-for-view channels... it can at best be termed as a complete waste of time and money... we as individuals should have our own identity... following a fashion, is much like being lost in image of a brand... that's not inspiring enough, the world needs a change. Dear readers, please go and define your own fashion! For instance, fashion to me is a pair of jeans with a-crushed-and-washed-but-not-ironed shirt... da da da"

... not heading anywhere, I decided to end the post there... still in search of a topics...juntaaa, please help!

Of rusticity and vibes!

I am currently at the half way point of the long Chinese new-year weekend. After an unsuccessful attempt at an unplanned road trip to East-coast Malaysia, I am back to my default state of doing nothing, also termed as guss in certain rustic parts of North-Western India! Having mastered the art of ‘doing nothing’, I thought, well, doing something constructive might not be that bad an idea. This in turn led me to spending a fair bit of weekend time thinking of possible serious blogging topics ranging right from motivation to driving to world cup to India’s growth story to stress management to wikipedia vs. unclycopedia, etc, etc. In the next few months, I will pitch in with my 2 cents on these topics, but for now, I am in ‘maxo arbit’ mood to even think of anything remotely serious! So, without further ado, let me jump into the most arbit post published on this blog since the previous posting!

Before moving on, a huge disclaimer: The following post, might make some (non)-sense to my wingies, but others please consult your psychiatrist before reading any further!

Nene/Ajay provided the initial momentum to this random post. Hence any frustration and disgust resulting out of this post can be directly communicated to Nene!

The following statements need no introduction, so...

Inspirational Quotes

• Give me a rustic to vibe and I will move the earth
• Give me vibes, I will give you rusticity
• Whatever the rustic can conceive and believe, the viber can achieve
• A journey of thousand miles begins with a single vibe
• After all, a rustic is a social viber
• All that vibes is not rustic
• Not everything than can be vibed vibes, not everything that vibes can be vibed
• I was born a rustic, education vibed me!
• Vibes is mightier than rusticity

Murphy’s Law

• If rusticity can vibe, it will

Laws of Physics

• An object in rusticity will remain in rusticity unless acted upon by an external vibe
• The rate of change of rusticity of a body is proportional to the resultant vibes acting on it
• For every vibe, there is an equal and opposite rusticity
• Vibes can neither be created, no be destroyed, it can only be transferred from one rustic to the other
• If two rustics are in vibed-up equilibrium with a third, then they are vibed-up with each other
• In any vibe, total rusticity of universe remains constant
• The rusticity of the universe increases with every spontaneous vibe

Okay, even I am tired of these vibes! Too rustic, I think

Freeriders with a pinch of professionalism!

This post is a result of a news article that was recently published in The Economic Times instigating an instant spam on freeriders mail list.
Link to the article:
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/IIM-A_to_revise_placement_fee_for_flagship_programme/articleshow/1502401.cms


Being a topic of utmost significance and a decision that we had owned till recently, we discovered the setting was just about perfect for a placecom meeting! The participants of this meeting are the free-riders. (Boopos, Candy, Cosmo, Daph, Deepthi, Oik, Peepu, Slippy, Me)

The stage was all set for another round of heated discussions. But, there is a small issue now. The last meeting was held a fraction under 2 years back. We were then purely the pizza ordering, room cleaning, chairs lifting, walkie-talkie communicating, file making, stationery storing, phone line connecting, catering-desk setting, dynamic scheduling, PPT attending, preferences matching, company logo pasting, e-pigeon maintaining, short-list withholding, CV dead-lining, interview scheduling, recruiter-faculty lunch arranging free-riders!

However, two years down the time line, would the placecom discussion still be the same? Or will all of us look at things differently given the “professional-ization” that we have been subjected to! Let’s take a glance as to how things have changed and the influence that professional life has had on us.

Given the gravity of this problem and the possible repercussions it could potentially lead to, free-riders decided to take a day off to meet at Placecom office, Wimwi, Vastrapur. The venue for the meeting was the same old rectangular room in placecom, now with air-conditioning support to manage the temperature that the discussion could possibly result into!

We entered the room and quickly assumed our standard seating configuration. Let’s take a peak into how the discussion started off.


Me: Let’s order some pizza yaar, long-time no free pizza!!

Peepu: Get serious guys, we are meeting after a long time. All I can say is that I missed you all a lot. Those were simply amazing days, those discussions, those night-outs at LKP…

Rest of us: abe koi iska senti band karwao…!

(Peepu then realized that no one actually reacted to his senti speech. Dumb silence ruled the room for 15 seconds. The leli had happened, now let’s get started with the meeting!)

Peepu: Let me set the context for this meeting. As some of you might have read, insti has decided to charge a fee of Rs 1 Lakhs per candidate across all slots. We are here to discuss this matter and I would like to hear your views on this.

(A pause of 15 seconds again…)

Slippy: Let me pitch in, since rest of you still don’t seem to be in any mood to discuss! While setting up the retail chain that I did recently, we had to pay similar amounts to the building constructors per store across all cities in India. I see a lot of synergies of this discussion with my current work and I think insti is justified in asking for this fees.

Cosmo: I think there are multiple sides to this issue. Being a CA, I know how difficult things can get between placecom and insti – the sheer mammoth task of reworking the credits and debits into different slot accounts will require a lot of understanding of accounting basics. Then there is this issue of deferred tax that comes into picture and we need to figure out the possible impact it would have on the resulting ratios that wimwi would get to…

(Dumb silence again engulfs the room; we are all reminded of the dreadful Manac classes and quizzes of first term at wimwi way back in 2003. Candy and I exchange “extreme give-up” looks! Boopos appears to have understood some part of this funda with a nod of his head that either implies that he actually got the funda or he is looking at this as an opportunity to improve his listening skills!)

Comso: … add to it, with the extra cash flow coming in, insti can think of investing in infrastructure bonds that I recently recommended one of my clients to invest in. Typically, high return bonds and there are plenty of tax exemptions under section 420 of Indian Accounting and Tax Act…

(We all again look at each other, with high levels of internal self-doubt and body language that read “anyone else in the same boat? Or am I the only one who still doesn’t understand Manac?” None of us dared to speak a word. It required a brave soul to pull the discussion further. Who better than the anti-placecommer to take it forward)

Deepthi: I don’t want any companies to come on campus. It sounds so stupid to ask for money – okay call it fees. Ever since this article has been published, the recruiting head of my company simply refuses to go any further than one sentence with me on phone call…

(Free-riders burst out in laughter. We all are reminded of Deepthi’s “heellllaaaaa” on phone. We totally understand the agony that Deepthi’s recruiting head had to face and he/she is perfectly justified in keeping the phone down. May be, it’s not the fees debate, it’s just Deepthi driving his/her reaction!)

Oik: Wot the hell? These booshtaards don’t understand the implications of this decision. I spent some time in US and there students from best of schools actually go out and give interviews. So, charging 1 lakh is not a lot and insti must do it. Wot the hell…

Deepthi: Oik, you don’t understand the consumer’s point of view. In all the surveys I have done for projects on campus and at work, my greatest input has been to prove that customers are lying about their preferences. Similarly, companies might say that they will pay, but eventually they will not… Aaai aaam pained by this decision…

Daph: What do you mean by they will not pay? I will Kung-Foo them and get the payment out! I might be getting old, but there is still enough to kick a few recruiters out! Just like I recently scared my boss to death…

Peepu: I think we are deviating a bit away from the main discussion. Being in an entrepreneurship environment, I know how important it is to focus on right things. Do you guys have any sense of financial impact this decision would have?

Boopos: Yeah, I think we should do that. Infact, I will do it tonight. Today seems easy. I should finish my official work early today, by 3am, one hour before my normal time. So, in that hour, I will make an excel model and run different simulations and scenarios for impact of 97 variables including interest rate and exchange rate fluctuations on fees income of placecom and the resulting valuation. I will code a macro for this and when you guys receive the file, simply click the run button. I should send this out by 4am.

(trinnng trinnng… trinnng trinnng…looks like someone just got a call. Oh, it’s Candy with his psued “hello” on phone. He blushes and says “yeah, sure, this evening sounds perfect to spend some quality time together on this”… and rest of us are like… “dude… kya crack maara hai!” He finishes the call and is back to the discussion. To break the anxiety (and jealousy?) surrounding the placecom room, we asked Candy… “ehh… bandi?”… and our man nods in disapproval… “again a call from my boss… chutti pe bhi he wants to have a conference call to discuss the slides… uski to @#&**@^#…” to get back the discussion on track, Candy pitches in with his 2 cents…)

Candy: I will think about the whole situation from buy and sell side point of view. In the recent deal that I had worked on, we supported our client on raising funds for the acquisition that they had decided to go ahead with. So, if the need be, I can help the recruiters raise funds for the wimwi recruitment process. It should be fairly straight forward, after all this doesn’t even look close to a deal of billion dollars. Tell you what, I will actually not spend my time and energy on this, I will ask a new fachchi in company to take care of this.

Peepu: That is a valid point Candy… I think you are right.

Daph: But, there is a chance that companies might make us sign a bond in return, given the high levels of “job switching” that is going on these days…

(I was like chilling out in one corner of the discussion table… I looked at everyone else… and it struck me…they all had chipped in, everyone had put in some CP or the other… ohhh crap, I haven’t said a word till now. What would fellow-free-riders think of me? That I don’t even have a point of view? I will not let this happen. The setting is perfect for a consult CP… I need to show the vision that I have for placecom…I gather all my thoughts to put a consult CP)

Me: Firstly, thanks everyone for all your views. This was a very “insightful” discussion that would go a long way in enhancing our differentiation as wimwi placecom freeriders. But, I can’t believe we have gone through the entire discussion without slides. I think, we need 2 circles at the top of slide, overlapping with a triangle in the middle and then a solid rectangle at the bottom of the slide to support our vision. Then we need to consider the synergies and the factors that would feed into creating sustainable competitive advantage for wimwi placecom in the medium to long term. Once we have envisioned the new placecom with new fees structure, it is critical to get a buy-in from various stake holders. One key question that we need to answer is: Is collecting fees the core of our placecom strategy? If not, shouldn’t we be looking to add value to our core verticals like building sustainable relationships with recruiters? My view to the entire puzzle surrounding the fees issue is that the answer probably depends on the adjacent externalities and the resulting internal fit! We are talking about a potential paradigm shift here!

(There was silence in the room again. I was like… wow, I have proved myself to be a stud!... look at all of them, they didn’t follow anything, total lack of vision I would say… ehhh… sudden change in configuration of the room… oh noo… another typical ending to placecom meeting as Boopos screamed out… Tharki ko bumps!!!...)

Disclaimer: The above post in no way supports or opposes Institute's decision to change the recruitment fees structure. This post is purely for entertainment and any other conclusion resulting out of this post would be purely coincidental. In any case, free-riders are only a minority subset of Placecom 2005 and therefore do not represent the batch's point of view on this topic!

The Spirit of Latcha...

Long Christmas weekend, 2 years since the last ‘reunion’, few rustics back home for the December break, recent blood tests revealing acute deficiency of vibes and wing lingo, aging memory struggling to relate names with faces – did sound like convincingly strong enough reasons for Latcha to have a reunion!

After diligent dissection of map of India, a million mails exchanged on Latcha yahoo group, matching holidays, arrival and departure dates, googling for places to visit, calling up junta places for bookings, getting kela from more popular tourist spots, we finally decided to freeze the place as ‘Dandeli’ in North Karnataka as the venue for ‘Latcha Reunion’, 2006!

The trip was amazing – tons of fun. After careful deliberation, the blog topic approval committee rated the trip arbit-enough to feature on this blog! I then started off with documenting the 5 day long trip. I had typed out 7 pages, word for word – exactly how the trip went. Just when I was about to copy and paste the document to this blog, I realized that there was a need to be politically and socially correct to maintain the decency levels that this blog has surprisingly withstood since its inception. I probably needed to sensor some part of this document. So, I downloaded some fundoo ‘lingo-control software’ and then fed my 7 page trip document thinking that it would probably crib at a couple of places. The result surprised me no end with the software reducing my well documented trip to a small paragraph! Moreover, I was served a warning and tagged unfit for society in general– probably a loser with no exposure to hostel life would have coded the software. Anyways, here is what the output looked like:

“Thatha reaches Chennai Central, picked up, we discuss <beep beep beep> and then drive down to Bangalore <beep beep beep> then talk about <beep beep beep> Bangalore traffic <beep beep beep> Samar’s home <beep beep beep> Ajay joins us <beep beep beep> Ranga picked next morning from his uncle’s place <beep beep beep> breakfast <beep beep beep> highway we hit <beep beep beep> road fundoo <beep beep beep> Samar puts the most embarrassing fund of this century <beep beep beep> reached Ankola by night <beep beep beep> Next morning, chai and then our temporary navigator Samar goofs up <beep beep beep> vibes <beep beep beep> rusticity <beep beep beep> reach Dandeli <beep beep beep> fundoo lunch <beep beep beep> sac out <beep beep beep> the next best thing <beep beep beep> island visit <beep beep beep> fundoo snaps <beep beep beep> tree top house <beep beep beep> 3 hours of Dumb C with video recording <beep beep beep> new found Dumb C guessing god <beep beep beep> Ranga’s vibed up movie names <beep beep beep> movie on laptop <beep beep beep> crash off <beep beep beep> Samar with enthu for early morning ‘bird watching’ trip <beep beep beep> Samar gets a kela <beep beep beep> rest of us sac out <beep beep beep> shift to a slightly more rustic resort <beep beep beep> river water rafting <beep beep beep> forward, left, right, go-down, hit the rock, life jacket <beep beep beep> potential babes <beep beep beep> 30 kms F1 ride in local jeep <beep beep beep> evening tea <beep beep beep> Dumb C again <beep beep beep> Ajay learns Hindi movie names <beep beep beep> Thatha goofs up yet again <beep beep beep> movie on laptop <beep beep beep> sac out <beep beep beep> laptop movie time <beep beep beep> crash off <beep beep beep> early morning chai, a few clicks <beep beep beep> drive down through rustic roads <beep beep beep> play TN Express ‘Connections’ game <beep beep beep> nth order connections <beep beep beep> 20 questions <beep beep beep> female, alive <beep beep beep> next reunion strategy <beep beep beep> serious discussions for a change <beep beep beep> reached back Bangalore <beep beep beep> collate snaps <beep beep beep> next morning off to Chennai after psenti bye bye <beep beep beep> serious life discussions <beep beep beep> reach Chennai <beep beep beep>”

Turned out to be rather inefficient - 7 pages cut-down to a paragraph, thanks to the lingo control software. Anyways, the full version of the story shall be made available on yahoo group. Ranga is currently working on it as he was ‘making notes’ all the way.

While we missed the other rustics of Latcha (Axis, Bachcha, Bong, Harry, Maharaj, Maxu, Popes), we made sure we had fun on their behalf too. It was amazing to get back to the 3rd year and psenti sem days, wing-lingo, funds, vibes, rusticity, etc. The previous reunion in Alleppy (Kerala) was hazaar fun as well and it served as a reassurance that Latcha would remain a closely knit group for a long time to come. It has now been 4 years since the wing physically ceased to exist, but surprisingly, we all have become much closer post-campus. Two important factors have contributed to this – the first being the general enthu/willingness of the group to stay in touch and the vital second factor being the support that the group has been. Four years since campus days, we all have had our portfolio of great times and not-so great times, but at the back of our minds, we know that a latchaite is just a call away!

Okay, enough of gen psenti, it’s time to acknowledge and honour each latchaite for having made a significant contribution to the success and failure of this trip:

Samar: For coming up with the most fundoo statement of this century. Details cannot be shared on this blog, but Mr. Bones, wishing you good luck. You will need it!

Nene: For goofing up with the bookings in Goa. Without your goof-up, we would have never seen Dandeli. Thank you very much!

Ranga: For adjusting to ‘Indian’ rustic conditions and keeping a track of expenses and ‘interesting statements’ made. On a personal note, no one else has ever doubted my driving skills to this level, will even scores with you soon!

Thatha: For initial intention to sponsor the entire trip that got rest of us interested in the deal. Sadly, it didn’t work out that way, but still feel free to contribute!

Maharaj: For not making it to the trip and putting long distance vibes. However, given the fact that you supported me against Mote’s allegations, I shall spare you here.

Popes/Axis/Maxu: For peacefully gussing all trip related mails. Sac out!

Bong/Chotu/Harry: For finding seemingly convincing reasons for gussing the trip.

Me: For driving through challenging conditions. Junta, please allow me to add Rs 100 a day to the trip accounts. Slightly, atleast maintain dignity of labour!

Changing gears…Maslow’s theory of Driving Needs and Motivation

It’s that time of the year, the end of the year, when we start thinking about the year that just went pass by, some of us think it was as good as it could have been, others look forward to a better year to follow and make necessary changes. Personifying this blog, there is a need to change gears. The branding of this blog has come under severe pressure, owing to a series of serious posts! It’s time to get back to the basics of the blog, get back to the drawing board and make necessary adjustments to the portfolio of serious and funny posts featured on this blog!

Over the last couple of days, I have dwelled about funny topics for this post. As always, I struggled for topics, it's much easier to write serious stuff, I suddenly realised! Finally, I decided to amalgamate two topics in the hope that something funny would pop up. Here is an attempt at this. Let me introduce Maslow’s theory of driving needs and motivation!

For those who need to refresh the original theory that Maslow proposed, please see this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

With all due regards to Mr. Maslow, let me now mutate the genetics of this theory that has withstood the test of time and apply it to driving needs and motivation:

Physiological needs: At the very first stage, you drive to meet the basic transportation needs. As such, you don’t care whether you drive a BMW or a bullock-cart to help you change your coordinates on the surface of earth!

Safety needs: You probably consider to be safer than local train/ auto/ taxi/ air travel. It’s probably all about having confidence in the seat-belts, the air-bag, the anti-collision bars, etc, etc. However, driving here sounds more like a compulsion and you would rather have a chauffer than drive yourself.

Belonging needs: This is when things start to get interesting and the real motivation starts to show up, when you feel the strong need to belong to the driving fraternity! Call it peer pressure, driving at this stage is all to prove a point ‘so can I’

Esteem needs: This is a fairly high-up need, when one starts thinking of driving as a career, when one thinks of driving in terms of achievements be it distance covered in a day or a how far did the speedometer stretch, etc. This stage is probably all about the 'drive to drive'!

Self-actualization: The ultimate level of motivation, when you drive not to attain something, but simply ‘coz you strongly believe that driving is what life is all about. This is the highest level of motivation, when distance, speed, power, etc loose relevance - it’s all about enjoying the feel of steering wheel, the gear, accelerator, brake and clutch!

Well, that's it for this post, didn't come out as funny as I once thought it would. But who cares!

Right to freedom of speech/expression! :-)

The title of the blog speaks for itself! It has been sometime since I blogged last, part of the reason being a new job apart from the common consistent never-say-die factor governing the general inertia in life! Having said that, I have realised that the biggest threat to my blogging career is probably my lack of 'ideas'!

I was about to blog last weekend - spent good 15 minutes thinking about a topic, didn't manage to get anywhere! So has been the case today, making me question why I actually wanna blog? More so, in this world of open source (and yeah, my google backed blogger follows much the same logic), where I don't incur any cost to maintaining this blog... advertisers to blogspot make sure that burgeoning young bloggers like me don't find the incremental cost as an excuse!

So, back to square one, what do I blog about? Actually lots of stuff happening around, but nothing is worth a full post. Ahhaaaa... idea, a blog that's like a 5 minute interesting news update sounds like a plan... may be not, but more than anything else, gives me something to type without having to think...!!

Here we go: News correspondent Joseph Khanna reporting with our special guest news reader from Singapore

Politics

India' PM, Dr. Manmohan Singh has stated in his secret autobiography that Laloo Prasad Yadav should be made the next PM of India - "He has got Indian Railways to mind boggling overall profit of Rs. 11k crore and his vision would enable India to wipe out poverty, fiscal deficit, get to growth rate of 12% and overtake China by 2016". When asked to elaborate on how Laloo Prasad could get us to 'India Shining', PM Dr. Manmohan Singh said he was in high level discussions with Laloo's think tank Rabri Devi and in her view, the secret path to success would a involve step increase in India's cow and buffalo population - "Laloo kahaith hai ki bhains ka khayal rakhna chahiye... hum kahaith hain ki jitna sasuri bhainsawan ko badhaya jaye , utna desh ka bhala hoi hai"

Singapore correspondent: Cannot lah, Singapore no buffalo last time, but orredi developed.

Universe

Moving on to bigger issues surrounding us, recent discovery of relatively small objects revolving around sun have made astronomers think about the existing definition of planets. The aftermath of this discovery has made Pluto a non-planet.

This has however resulted in major discussions world around, with President Bush releasing a statement to international community - "The threat of terrorism has to be faced with courage and we stand united in this hour of need. Al Qaeda has managed to launch attacks on Pluto, severely damaging the size and solar path of Pluto. In consultation with Nasa and international community we have therefore decided to bring down the status of Pluto. These are tough and testing times for our solar system, but I request all Americans to take a white marker and change the text books of your 4th grade kids - Solar system now has 8 planets. I declare."

Astrologers world-over have reacted strongly to this change as well, with some of them claiming the relative superiority of astrology over astronomy. The International Union of Pure and Applied Astrology (IUPAA) in an official statement released "We strongly negate the view of disowning and degrading the status of Pluto in our solar system. Pluto has been a strong contributor to Astrology - whenever the bigger planets don't explain the reality, we have always believed that Pluto accounts for the difference between astrology based predictions and the real world observations. We will therefore continue to believe in the importance of Pluto for the years to come"

Singapore correspondent: Noooooo.... nooooo.... Singapore small country laah, United Nations can declare Singapore part of Malaysia orredi... Can or not? Danger laah, very lucky orredi we been till now.


Stock Market

Let's now move to our analysis of BSE Sensex - Despite higher economic growth projections, lower interest rates, Sensex went down by 4.77% points. The sudden unexpected decline has been attributed to withdrawal of FII money that has been pouring in. It is widely believed that FIIs withdraw money from Indian stock markets on Fridays so as to enjoy the weekend with luxuries ranging from a glass of wine to filling their petrol tanks for weekend trips. This was the conclusion of a very detailed behavioral pattern analysis conducted by MBA students.

Singapore correspondent: We Singaporeans invest in Fixed income only. Money lost in stock market then we cannnnoot get back. Risky lah....


Sports

In a stunning revelation to the international community, ICC president Malcom Speed has come out in open about Darrell Hair's one-time settlement offer to quit ICC's elite panel for $500,000. Further speculations surrounding the issue range from allegations of match fixing to bookies betting on Darrell Hair's future. Defending his stance in international cricket body, Darrell Hair said "I have always played the game in true spirit and my umpiring has been in line with true professional standards. I rate myself as the most committed individual to cricketing world - even Sachin Tendulkar has started to lose focus on cricket - he is probably a bit more inclined towards tennis, now that his elbow has accepted and adapted to tennis"

Singapore correspondent: I don't know lah, cable operator charges $25 per month for cricket channel.


Weather

As we move towards winter, Indian cities have started to experience temperature changes. Delhi was at a minimum of 9 degrees, maximum of 38 degrees, Mumbai, Kolkata and Chennai oscillating between 12 and 42 degrees. Forecast is of clear skies, except when it is cloudy.

Singapore correspondent: Yesterday my aircon thermostat failed lah, therefore temperature dropped from 24 degrees to 22 degrees in my room. Too cold lah, Singapore very costly, cannot buy blanket also... For weather forecast, we divided Singapore into 26 zones with individual temperate and expected rain fall in the next 24 hours. But no time to tell lah in this short news... I orredi told the news agency that I don't like short news.... last time also cannot...

Strategies to successful... ehhh... career?

At the end of the day, 'Communication', they say is what differentiates good from average, exceptional from just about okay, average from pathetic! The way 'raw facts' or in most cases 'no facts' are 'positioned' can tilt the balance of perception to any of the grades ranging from pathetic to average to good to exceptional!

I am a big believer of 'making this world a better place' and thereby, I wish to make my contribution public today. Please do remember to take a leaf out of this post - trust me, it is useful in every sphere of professional life - for a junior trying to defend his work (or lack of it) at office, someone looking for guidance on presenting to top management or to 'work around' with tough questions from the client! Without any further adieu, ladies and gentlemen, let me present the statements that can make our dull careers successful.

Disclaimer: If you are one of those backed by the relentless desire to be sincere in doing work, then please stay away!! For rest of us, these are very useful statements - in more ways than one, these are 'platform independent' - you can use them in almost any context!

Situation 1: When you have done some work, but it is far from complete

"This piece of analysis is interesting..." take a pause, count 1,2,3 internally and then repeat "it is interesting..." with a nod of head, this time!

"I agree with what Mark has said, my analysis shows similar leading trends..." now, with a look to Mark that conveys "well done mate!"

"I lost all my project files last night. Since then, I have managed to get to this stage of work... I am quick, I know! But the work I had done till yesterday evening had all possible details.. lost it all, Jeeezuz...!"

Situation 2: When you have absolutely no clue to what Mr. Boss is talking about.

"...that, in my view is dot on... I would have guessed the same..."

"...my workstream is so exciting, there are multiple ways of looking at this and I am in process of getting to the answer, looking at different dimensions in a situation that is changing dynamically... let me get back to you by tomorrow afternoon..."

"... the data is inconsistent..."

"I have actually managed to speed up on this... does tomorrow afternoon sound like a plan to discuss this?"

Situation 3: High level client/top management meetings!

"There is a huge potential to create value, unleash synergies and move up the value chain..."

"We did a lot of ground work, this presentation is only to discuss steps that would impact the project most..."

Now, two words that can be like 'wow':

"I think", well it has to be said in a different way "Aaai thiiieenk..." followed by a pause of 3 seconds, look at everyone around and people would react back with "I get that... amazing stuff"

.........

Hope this was useful! Please do experiment and let me know if it works! However, I wish you luck! :-)

ennapa?... walking down the memory road...

A bit of a flash back - this post is dedicated to all my school friends and to profs and teachers who over the years have made this post a possibility!

Oct 1995 - I reached Chennai and joined DAV Gopalapuram - the admission process was a bit of a challenge. It's never easy to get to a school in October, however, with help of a few contacts, could get an appointment with the principal. I was initially declined admission as princi observed that all my 8th standard marks were in '40s'!! It took a bit of explanation to get the message that well, in my school in Kerala, for some strange reason, overall marks were on 50. Anyways, with some luck, I could get admission to DAV, Gopalapuram. Otherwise would have been lucky enough to discontinue my education then.

Strange it was - to be in middle of a year, in a new environment, new people, new teachers - I was a bit perplexed. It was however my 9th educational institution in 9th standard!!! The history till then had just been perfect!!! - The first school that I went to in Lucknow - pre-nursery or so - closed down within a week, the next one lasted a month!! Finally spent more than a year in my 3rd school and then we shifted to Rajkot. Spent 3 years in one school there! School 5 was a 2 year stint in DAV Public, Patna. School 6 was Shivagiri Vidyaniketan in Alwaye, near Cochin in Kerala. Spent good 2 years in that school before shifting to School 7 - Vidyodaya, near Cochin again, for a year. We then moved to Mumbai for sometime, School 8 was Rajhans, Andheri - lasted 6 months there! School 9 was DAV - 3.5 years!!! Ever since, life got a bit more stable - spent 4 years at BITS and 2 years at IIM-A. It took combined effort of 11 educational institutions to teach me something!

Back to 9A, DAV, Gopalapuram - As new as I was then and despite being in a habit of changing schools so often, I still do take a bit of a time to make friends, more so the case then. So, for sometime, I remained the silent boy of the class! - a bit of an extreme deviation given my track record ever since! Before moving on to the teachers and profs., I will first share a very funny experience - I can't stop laughing about it even now.

The class leader of IXA then was Kutral - My first impression was - how is this guy the class leader?! 'coz to me, he did seem to be the naughty-est of the lot! In the first week, there was once a time when some teacher was absent and we had like the entire 40 mins to have fun - okay correction, they had 40 mins to have fun! Being new to the class, there had to be a bit of ragging. So, someone - now I don't remember who, probably Bhatia - told me - "you know our class leader?"... I was like 'Yeah... yess... he is the leader, right?'... Bhatia said "He is also the world record holder for swimming"... I was like.. "Yeah right, tell me about it!" I spent the next 10 mins defending "I might look dumb with these 0.5 power spects on, but I know all tricks of the trade. So, don't gimme this crap"! The discussion went on, almost the enitre class joined in! And Kutral was like - "They are just having fun with you, don't fall in the trap" - For all they told me, I was like "Yeah right... English channel... thats so so cold... I am not that dumb!!"...

Well, as it turned out to be, Kutral was and is the world record holder - for being the youngest swimmer to cross the English Channel and thereafter, my guess is that he managed another world record - "youngest to appear on every television channel as well!"... Funny incident, I still can't stop laughing... but it is all ways is a tribute to Kutral - not just for his achievements, but also for being so modest ab't it - never did he have that air of 'world record holder' around him and even till today, he remains a simple but naughty guy!

Then came the second experience - this was however over a period of time. I observed that most in our class, didn't speak the way they would to the external world! - and I didn't follow anything that they said - apparently it was all Ta Ta Va lingo! "Maditashan... (meditation) was the every second word used in the class then. The interesting fact that still remains is that I never got a chance to sit through a TTV class, but I can still imagine what the class would be like!

Days and months went by, I got more and more used to being with my to-be friends. For most of 9th, I did remain a silent guy - made a couple of friends, but my social studies marks left me with enough in life to worry about. Laloo, our Social Studies teacher was a bit more worried than I was!! To me, the idea was simple - somehow pass 9th standard - I did manage a 59/100 in my final exam of Social Studies, trust me, I was happy with that!! Little did I know that the minimum cut off to be eligible for National Scholorship Exams is atleast 60 is all subjects in 9th!

Life moved on, as I felt more and more at home in this new school, I started with my PJs - the first few days were rocking cool! Everyone enjoyed my PJs - some like Genish didn't follow much!! :-)) Others like Anta, took 2 weeks to understand! However, if an when, he understood, I did have a terrible time the very next break. Short break, Lunch break and 2:55pm break - Anta used to either solve some JEE high fundoo sums or beat me up - with a rather strange configuration - he was a master at hitting with his elbow!!

10th went by, the fun factor in life was still not there that much. However, a year later, I took ED/science group in 11th and the entire class changed. Many of my friends went to 11C, while junta joined 11A. This is when the real fun started. By some strange voluntary suicide scheme, I was the class leader too! However, I was now a chill back bencher. Actually not entirely, I was back-bench minus one, but in the left most column of the class - ideal place, much better than the back benchers in the middle columns (okay, we used to call it row then). And we did have fun! Starting from "my dear boooyz", Kandy our physics + class teacher, to our introduction to ED sir... little did I know, that this would change my lingo for life... even today, when we exchange scraps on orkut, it's often ED lingo "waffor doi litis means temmnow" "bufffalllo" "Good fameley or bad fameley litat" "wat i cen able cho chell u is litat" "pumbock"... and it goes on and on and on... I will leave the exact imitation to Lakhsman's blog - nut thinks I am 'the worrrrshhht' at this! :-((

There is tons to write about Minizaa, but I shall for now keep it to imitation only - I am sure, others have expressed their crushes on her, and since I was not part of that gang (!!!), I shall not blog on the crush part! Pullezzaaa, Anantaramanzaa do the sumzaa... Pullleezzaaa.

Jokes apart, any post on school is half empty without a sincere thanks to Sridhar Sir. We all respect him a lot - apart from the fundaes we got in Chemistry, Sridhar Sir has always been a friend to us. And more so in my case, fun time apart, it was not easy going for me in 11th and much of 12th - it's not easy to keep aims and hopes high when one is scoring significantly below the rest, but in our 1-to-1 sessions, Sridhar Sir always expressed confidence in me, gave me a few tips and that has helped me a lot.

Saitsh, the princi was a masterpiece! 'pooowerful speaker', etc, etc... again, its pure imitation, so shall leave it for other blogs :-) However, till date, the biggest united mischief was 'Paul'! It was an event that took the scales of 'Quit India Movement'. Hundreds and Thousands joined in this noble cause and we went about spreading the message of "One world, One word, One mischief, One tone, One Aim". Paul, an otherwise sane human being, far away from the mischief gang of the class, was blessed with a name, which when 'extruded' out of Kandy's throat sounded like 'Puuoo'!

It was during one of the 11th standard classes that NK started off with 'Paul'... just a hint. There was not much of a reaction to this. He said once more, and now another specimen shouted 'Paul'... it still did sound innocent. A day or two later, we started to 'spread the word'. All that was needed now, was mention of 'Paul' and half of the class would shout 'Paaaul' ' Paaaooo', 'Pol', 'Ppppoooulll'. First couple of times, teachers didn't get it. Atleast innocent Jaya didn't for sure. We now tried it everywhere, from Physics lab to ED room to every other class to Jam's class - and slowly we got to the 'expert status' in this. It was like having a massive stereo system installed, with each speaker distinct - all it needed was a small mention of 'Paul' and the system would go crazy! We even tried it once in Sridhar Sir's class!! Sir was quick to pick it and he said 'boys, comeon'!!!

Something that took the scale of Quit India Movement, wouldn't have been restricted to our class. It went on to other sections of 11th in our school, slowly our juniors and seniors bought this idea! And since we were a decent mass in IIT classes, we did it once before a Govi class. It spread like wild fire there - easy when you have 150 students sitting in a class that should take no more than 40. 'Paul' was now a brand, it was a religion that we followed, it was an 'expression', it was an 'attitude to life'. From IIT class, it spread to other schools like PSBB, I am told. Those guys knew nothing about who Paul is!! So, all of you who have had the patience to read this post till here, say 'Paaaul'!! My friend Paul, you have some popularity index man!

Moving now to IIT classes - we first started with imitating Govi - for his jokes ranged from neighbour's daughter to Bangalore babes! I haven't kept a track of all Govi wise cracks, but was fun! Atleast, I did feel a bit of competition! Then, we imitated Santhanam '...if you don't get the moles right, you misss the bussss' - the last 3 words spoken at the speed of light! Anandan was our fav as well, but I am actually bad at imitating him. So, will leave it for other blogs.

However, the biggest influence on my vocal life and I trust so is the case with many others, is TRS - Great prof for sure, but apart from that, he had the most 's' lingo on this planet earth! 'ennapa, this gets cancels', that sounded like 'ennnaaapa, this getzz canczcels' followed with a sweep of hand with his '1st finger floating'!

Before going on to other famous TRS lines, it was fun seeing him before the class started. He would rub the board with the duster to perfection - with not even a small spec of chal powder left! Then he would pick a piece of chalk, break it and use the last one-third piece of the chalk. He would stand still next to the blackboard facing the board and with a chalk in his hand, almost about to start writing. He would give himself a minute or so. To me, that sight was so so funny - it was as if a computer was booting standing still - those days, I had a 166Mhz at home, so was almost the same speed!

Back to TRS words of wisdom - "Zit on the zitter"... ennnapa plz... che che chek chek... "ennapa Aatraya Vaidyanathan, am I daaaaaancing here" :-))) "A goezzs to B's placzze, B goezzs to C's placzze, ennapaa"... and then for students like me, who were not doing too well to get through JEE, he used to call us "Caat onn the waaooll caze"!!!! "gets cancels..."

This has been a bit of a flash back! School days were fun, college life was equally cool... back to present times, it's still much the same. Till the next post, "ennnapa, plz..." blogging "getzzs cancelzzs"!!